


Crush At First Sight

by lucitae



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-15 09:51:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/525984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucitae/pseuds/lucitae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't a lie when Joonmyun said he had a crush on Luhan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crush At First Sight

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a prompt written for week one of [exo's ficspiration](http://exo-ficspiration.tumblr.com/post/32220034351/hello-and-welcome-to-exo-ficspirations-first). The quote from i was from [EXO's showcase interview](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AExd_Hhl-6g) (2:25). The quote from iv was from [EXO-k's Sina interview](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FZCoSuG5QE&playnext=1&list=PLF8CD1A1D9166273C&feature=results_video) (120918, 18:30).

**vii.**

His lips are soft, it doesn’t seem surprising at all though. What’s more surprising is that his lips are against _yours_. Your lips move against his, hot air trapped between the two of you, mingling and becoming one. Your hand slides down his spine, counting each segment. It then slides under his shirt, where he chuckles against your mouth and you slide your hand to the flat of his stomach, trailing up almost teasingly to count each rib, trying to map his entire body in your brain.

You slide your tongue into his den, exploring every inch, trying to memorize every single detail as your fingers dance across his chest and your mouth is filled with the broken trails of laughter. Your eyes start to flutter close when you feel the way the other’s laugh vibrates in your mouth, which is a pity because you love how you are the one to bring such color to his cheeks. 

It isn’t until the two of you are out of breath do you part, enjoying the way his breath is so uneven as compared to before, the way adrenaline pumps through your body and leaves you craving for _more_. You doubt you can ever get enough of him.

**i.**

“I had a crush on Luhan from EXO-M…”

“I love you~”

“…at first sight~”

And that’s how the cat is let out of the box. The fans cheer and holler thinking it just to be some sort of fanservice. Perhaps it is, but it has a different meaning to Joonmyun. It’s the truth.

Isn’t the truth supposed to set him free? Why does he feel even more restrained than before?

No one understands the feeling that he went through on the stage. His members tell him he was just nervous as their leader because it was their first appearance to the public and live. But he can tell the difference between the two. There is that unsettling feeling right before the test, where your stomach just gives you hell by tossing and turning, and all you want to do is vomit it out. There’s also that tingle that settles on your limbs, turning you numb and giddy. And that was how he felt before going onto the stage. But the three words, the way he smiles and leans forward to make eye contact is an entirely different matter. During those few short moments he can feel warmth crawling up to his cheeks, sooner or later going to be tinged with a hue of red. All sounds are tuned out as he continues what he was saying when the other had distracted him, he can hear the rush of his blood through his veins as his heart picks up pace, hearing each distinctive thump.

It’s a good thing the camera moves on, Leetuk hyung seems to have noticed it as well and turns the conversation away from Joonmyun and onto Jongin.

**ii.**

There seems to be some sort of amused glint in his eye as later that evening he approaches Joonmyun with a large smile. “Did you really mean that?”

He wonders how he should approach that question. Say ‘no, of course not’ and laugh it off as smoothly as he could and tell the elder one that it was just fanservice and some little crush that passed on, a lie of some sort. But his heart refuses to obey that and instead a “yes” slips out of his mouth. 

He’s responded by a smile, one that had Joonmyun falling for him in the first place. The other leans in and as his eyes grow wide, unable to leave the other’s perfect complexion as he feels the hot breath against his ear: “I meant every word too.” And that’s the last conversation he can remember having with Luhan for a long time.

**iii.**

Ever since he has been given the duty of watching over EXO, he knew this wasn’t going to work out at all. He’s far away across the ocean doing who knows what and Joonmyun’s here, lying on the bed trying to fall asleep because tomorrow is a big day ahead. Feeling cold, he rises to shut the door of the room only to have his roommate open it not long after. It’s sad how the only thing the two of you agree upon is that man all the way across the sea and in mainland China. 

That’s the only conversation the two of them have besides ‘how was your day’ and things related to their schedules for the next day. They lap into silence after that, going about their daily business. That room is meant to rest their bodies, not a place to formulate bonds. He’s a cute maknae, like most maknaes are, but Joonmyun can’t bring himself to like it. Part of him envies his other members: Kyungsoo and Jongin with their established friendship and Baekhyun and Chanyeol with their light hearted jokes. They seem to bond over because they live together. Joonmyun strives to as well. It’s one thing before a camera and on stage, easy to talk about observations of this and that, opinions of a certain thing and whisper to each other. It’s another when both are getting prepared to sleep and there’s just this thick blanket of silence that falls upon them. 

But he’s not being fair. There’s really just one underlying reason why he can’t bring himself to like his roommate. 

History. 

That’s something that Sehun shares with Luhan during the trainee days, something he could never change and could just watch. He’ll never be part of it. The two share something special with each other and Joonmyun is left in a corner to deal with this yearning of his. 

I’m not gay.

He tells himself over and over during that time. He’s just attracted to Luhan’s face, it’s aesthetically appealing and that’s all there is to it. Beautiful to look at, nothing more. But it’s not true. His eyes follow the taller male whenever he is within Joonmyun’s peripheral vision, watching the concentration laced into his brow and eyes as he plays with the rubix cube, the way he smiles, and the way it makes Joonmyun’s heart skip a beat. He still calls it a crush because he can’t get between the two, he can’t bear doing so… he can’t see himself with Luhan. 

In the end he turns his head away and goes off to find Kyungsoo, who always knows what to say and can provide all the food needed to patch one’s soul back together again. 

Food is the cure to everything, he reasons.

**iv.**

“But Sehun is especially close to Luhan. As though he’s in love with him.”

It comes out easily from his lips as he laughs along with the rest of the group. It diverts the attention away from him and… he’s probably speaking some sort of truth, poking fun at the maknae. That’s probably what the other members think. No one knows of the agony he’s going through as he makes a joke out of it. No one can tell.

**v.**

He’s the happiest and the saddest when the entire group is one. At least he gets to see Luhan. But he’s never really around Joonmyun for long before he’s called away by some other member. Thus it shocked him when the elder one approaches him out of the blue one day. 

“I’m feeling sick,” the other confesses, no amusement in his eyes that makes Joonmyun’s heart drop to the floor. Sick of _him_? Or just ill due to weather conditions? 

“How-“

“I think I need some fresh air. Care to accompany me?” he was cut off by the other, eyes widening further as he hears the other’s invitation.

“Of course I’ll accompany you.” And he drops everything else aside, nothing else matters more than the health of the one he loves. The other merely smiles in that way that can charm a man to his death. He sometimes wonder if the other is a siren because he could be. “Where to?”

“It’s been a while since I’ve heard the waves.”

And that’s where they go.

**vi.**

He can taste the salt on the tip of his tongue, the breeze cold on his skin. It’s stupid to not have packed a jacket before he sets off on this trip, it’s even stupider to slip out without telling the manager especially when he is the leader of their band. 

It’s worth it. Especially with the way his hand is entwined with the other’s, fingers resting against the back of his hand. A perfect fit. A perfect match. 

Even with the waves roaring and crashing against the rocks, the seagulls screeching at the top of their lungs, all Joonmyun can hear is Luhan’s pace of breath. It’s calm, melodic in a way. He might just be crazy to think so, but he was never normal to begin with. 

“Look” and he does as the other tells him to. THE END OF WORD scrawled on a wall as they stood from a ledge propped upon rocks, observing the remnants of graffiti on the walls.

“I thought it said-“

“The end of the world. Me too.”

Their chuckles mingle into one, both raising their hands to cover their open mouths due to laughter. Joonmyun smiles because they are on the same page, he doesn’t understand why the older one does too. Such a kind expression, he feels blessed to be the only one to be graced with it. 

“You know? Back in the ancient times they used to believe that there was an end of the world. The land was flat and at some point it would just drop into an endless abyss.” Joonmyun knows but he merely listens to the other’s voice, it’s soothing and so soft at times. 

“Joonmyun… do you believe in that Mayan prophecy?” the man being questioned shakes his head. “Neither do I. But if it’s true,” because there is always that hint of uncertainty to every aspect in life. “Just know that I love you.” A smile forms on the younger one’s face, the kind where people call him angelic for it. And he swore to be beside the other on that night when it was supposed to happen. 

From the corner of his eye, he can see how Luhan’s face now has a beautiful tinge of red across his porcelain skin and can’t resist the urge to plant a gentle kiss on it. The other’s eyes widen as Joonmyun’s flutter as his lips brush against the other’s smooth cheeks. It’s not until then does he realize a cold finger underneath his chin, guiding him to Luhan’s lips.

**viii.**

His arms are wrapped around Luhan’s, enjoying the warmth that proves it is not just part of his imagination. He gently brushes the sand off the other’s skin, chuckling at how the sand had even gotten into Luhan’s soft and beautiful hair. He can hear the tremors of the vibration from his phone but he chooses to ignore it. He’ll go back and face a lecture but it’s worth it. They only have limited time together and he doesn’t have any notion of returning until they come to hunt him down. It’s silly, not responsible but Joonmyun is too in love to care. It won’t be long till they are an ocean apart and he has to deal with inner demons of insecurity. 

They are engaged in something forbidden by the company, frowned on by society, but Joonmyun no longer cares. All that he cares about it the way his skin feels against the other, the way Luhan’s body fits perfectly beside his and the way the cold water laps at their toes. 

“Luhan…” he leaves off at the end of the word, because it’s the only word that matters and actions will always speak louder than words.

**Author's Note:**

> The first part serves as a prologue.
> 
> Comments are appreciated.


End file.
